The Faults

Never use the word Blog in the title of your Blog…Word!

Alright you Mothers, The Captain is back again.

I know you have had some blogs in between my last, but lets face it you all come here just to see mine so on we go…

Did some recording as D-dog said, it was great fun in the studio and to be honest I’d be a studio musician all day everyday it is great fun. Hats off also Leigh at Earthworks also who did a great job and got us a demo we can be proud of (maybe not Al, but you can’t always please Big Fucking Trees).

So I’m not going to dwell to much on my miss fortunes but I’ve had massive aids now for over a week. It started as probably one of the worst colds any human has had, bad throat, pounding head and bogies like anything. After a couple of days rest I decided I would return back to work, which was fine I’m a man and I can take it (with the help of Nurofen and Sudafed sinus tablets, which btw are epic). All was going well until Sunday when I was struck down with killer monkey pains in my face, it felt like an Elephant pounding my head from inside and no amount of tablets helped. Turns out my Sinus’s had become infected so I am not on a course of Antibiotics, lame!

Anyway that’s enough personal shit about me.

The last day or so we had asked for your questions through different media outlets (MySpace, twitter etc…) and here are they selected few we chose…

Simon Frane:

Q: Hi guys, thanks for taking the time to do this. I love you guys and I’m a builder and was just wondering what is your favourite hammer?

 A: Well mine is the Stanley, big strong and robust. I think Dave’s is the sandwich though.

 Devon314:

Q: What venue in all the world do you hope to play in and which bands will play there with you?

 A: Probably Wembley for Al, his supporting band would be Oasis fo sure, with maybe Blur on first? Mine would be Madison Sq Garden supported by hmmm…Really don’t know possibly John Mayer or DMB. Tom would be the Same as Al and Dave would be Finchley carnival supporting by Chaz n Dave.

Alice Cheshire:

Q: I’m quite a large girl, (23 stone) but I love rocking away to your music in my well worn chair. I really think that the Big Tree is a stud, would he like to come over one night?

A: PAH…NO!

Michelle Pallet:

Q: Hi Guys, I just wondered if you ever though about maybe making a cool spin off band? I enjoyed Chav England and also think John Terry is a Cu…

 A: Thanks Michelle, funny you should mention it but check out chineseopera.thefaults.co.uk (Don’t tell Tom I have sent you there though)

Ashley Coles bit on the side:

Q: I have an itchy red rash on my wanny

A: Not surprised.

Right that was about it for questions but the others were pretty lame no offence if yours wasn’t answered but I don’t think, “who is your favourite artist ever” counts as a valid question…BORING!

More rehearsals last night and all this is leading up to our gig tomorrow night (Friday 19.03.2010) at the Barfly in Camden, if you want to come the first person to send us an email with “Men who love mushrooms need much room to love mushroom soup” in the subject title will get a free ticket on the Captain and maybe their first drink on Tommy Fault!?

CHARITY WATCH:

So Sport Relief is coming up and with Eddie Izzard running shit loads of marathons over the course of 7/8 weeks and obviously The Big Tree being the charitable guy he is decided he would also run… up and down his driveway 3 or 4 times. For a massive tree this is no mean feet, especially when he will be attempting to eat a doughnut without licking his lips on each run. Harder than that cross-dressing tranny Izzard I think you’ll agree.

Not too much else to say to be honest, things move fast in life remember that.

Peace x

The usual bollocks, you love to read!

Hello Blog Readers,

So I see a couple of the band have decided to add their own 2 cents worth, but lets face it I know why you’re here and I know why you’re here…To read my blog!

So on we go…

Oops dinners ready will be back in a few minutes.

Well that’s dinner done with,  I may have been slightly longer than a few minutes but I like to enjoy my food!

To be honest not too much has happened since my last blog, it was Tommy’s birthday on Saturday and he proceeded to celebrate over the weekend. We were due to have rehearsals on Saturday but Tom was so monged out when Al spoke to him that practise was cancelled. Being fair to Tom though, there were doubts that it would have gone ahead anyway as Dave had had no bowel control since the Wednesday before.  That and all the feelings that come with it. One funny story is that he passed out and banged his head, HAHA!

Sorry that’s not funny get well soon Dave!

We have a practiced booked for Wednesday now so unless Tom has a heavy night or Dave eats another dodgy consumable there should be no reason this won’t go ahead!

One other small amount of news is that the traffic to the site this week was up by quite a significant amount, so the blogs and tweeting must be having some effect on you guys. Great news, spread the word and help keep this site growing in traffic.

We won’t be discussing football in this thread, mainly because Arsenal were woeful over the past week.

At the moment I have been watching ‘The Office: An American workplace’ If you were a fan of the original office or even if you wasn’t definitely make sure you check it out. Its brilliant!

Sticking with the theme of TV my favourite show ever starts again this week…ooooooooooooo LOST!! Can’t wait it’s the final season and I very well cry when that Season Finale airs in 23 episodes time.  If you have any theories as to WTF is going on then please leave a comment below.

CHARITY WATCH:

Well I haven’t had a chance to speak with ‘The Big Tree’ (Alex) this week, but from rumours I’ve heard and a few posts on ‘www.Imamassivedogooder.co.uk’ it seems he was helping out the Alcoholics this week. Not really a case for charity in my eyes, just stop drinking you bell ends!

It seems The Big Tree wanted a sample of their life and tried to down as much drink as possible on Saturday night and then collect money in a flat cap by giving them a little rendition of the drunken river dance.  Apparently he raised just over £130.00 so well done, all proceeds are going to the Paul Merson drinking fund, where he uses it to get wasted just before he makes any sort of TV appearance or gives any interview it seems.

Not much else, I saw Toy Story 2 in 3D last night, always look forward to Andi Peters line in that, of all the famous gay black men he is my favourite.

Peace,

The Captain

Band, Dreams, Films and more!

Hello people,

Don't get used to this 2 blogs in 2 days malarkey as this definitely won't happen once the novelty of having a blog space on our webpage wears off, which I don't think will take too long at all. Mind you I am quite enjoying being able to say what I like these days without being censored by Tommy!

 So Band stuff again, as you might have seen on our Twitter page (www.twitter.com/thefaults) I cocked up the dates in my diary and it meant I had to pull out of practise. Lame, I know and I know you guys will be thinking that I don't take the band seriously enough, blah blah blah...but look, it was a genuine mistake. Still as a peace keeping offering I suggested that I write this and also put forward the option of a Saturday practise, which was snapped up pretty quick. I also think the less important instruments will be meeting up midweek for a little love in where they can make sure there guitars G strings are as tight and tuned as their own!

Not much else happening really at the minute, obviously we have this going now and also the Twitter page that I gave you the link to earlier so get Tweeting. For those of you that don't use it you really should! Its legal stalking of you favourite celebrities and if you don't care to much for celebs, follow us.

I had a dream I got shot through the chest the other night, I still lived though I paid a doctor to extract the shrapnel from my back. I then proceeded to kick the crap out of a dog that was chasing me. It came back to life though and chased me again, that was weird.

A big shout out to my Welsh friend (who isn't actually Welsh), he's doing what I am desperate to do and that is move across the pond. Good luck with it all my man and make sure you have the bed made up for me, for when I come visit. His dad is a Chief POPO but lets not hold that against him.

I was supposed to go to his leaving party on Saturday but completely forgot about it (there’s a common theme starting here) and for that I apologise. Still I had a nice time at my Nan’s 70th instead, even though I did manage to cut my lip open on a breadstick. ROCK AND ROLL!

If you haven’t seen Avatar you must go, its an amazing film. I wasn't down for seeing it but with all the hype its been getting I decided I should go and I'm glad I did. As ever Dave was quick to call it 'pootastic' and state that it was an 'overrated B movie' something only 'appy Dave could come out with. I'm not sure why he's so miserable I did ask his parents and they said he's always been like it, well ever since he asked for a Hawaii special edition Barbie and got the Texas cowgirl Sindy for Christmas instead.

The Captain!

The First Entry

Hello People,

Well this is something new, The Faults blogging, who would have thought it? Well that’s the idea anyway, whether this lasts is another thing but we're going to make a genuine effort to post a few a week depending on what shizzle has gone down in the life of an unsigned band member.

As Tommy will be reading this maybe its best that I start with some band news first. We had 2 practices this week (you don't get as good as us without, let me tell you Sunny Jim) and in both we tried to decide what songs we think are best to record at our impending recording session. Tommy has asked for a new producer this time so hopefully we will get the desired outcome that all of us in the band are after, well at least 3 of us and maybe Dave if he gets up on the right side of bed, which I don't think has happened since December 25th 1987?

Speaking of Dave, his beard has come along nicely since the last time you saw him. He's added a nice amount of depth and maybe a little 'Just for Men' as it does seem a lot darker than it has ever been before. I wonder if Izzie Gay* likes beards? If your reading and you do like men with beards get in touch at info@thefaults.co.uk.

(For those that don't know Izzie Gay* is a fan of Dave’s, she loved his floppy locks by all accounts. We in the band are only jealous though as he received the only piece of fan mail we've ever gotten)

So anyway, we've got it down to around 5 or so tracks and will be looking to record 3 of them which will be deciding on over the course of this week.

Not to much else happened on the band side of things really, Tommy made us wait around about 3 days for his 3G connection to kick so he could show us 2 songs he liked the guitar sounds of on Spotify. Really he should have just said:

Tom: Alright men, have you heard these two high profile songs that everybody has heard of?

The Faults: Yes?

Tom: Well I like the guitars

The Faults: cool

Tom: Right, who’s for some Yorkshire Tea (or whatever they drink up north)

So that’s about the band stuff out the way, Oh one other quick well done Al who is still successful at being a pro musician (unemployed) and also for managing to raise a little bit of money for the poor bastards out in Haiti. He's a lover of fund raising for charities, which is very commendable.

Moving on, I enjoyed the snow last week I know people get annoyed but how often can you walk around your town and deliver (leave on the door mat, ring the bell and run away) boxes of frozen ready meals that some old dear has dropped when her bag split carrying them home from the local Tesco to unsuspecting people? Answer me that!

Liverpool’s bid for fourth place took another nose dive after there draw with Stoke this week, all I can say is that its a good Job Rafa has guaranteed them fourth place or Tom would be panicking. Probably best I don't mention them crashing out of the FA Cup as Tom wouldn't appreciate that.

On the plus side Arsenal won again and we are looking like genuine contenders for the title should our injuries not get any worse than they all ready are. (Since I wrote this we lost to Stoke, still it was only our B team so not a big deal).

As we're new to blogging I'm sure if the length of this is right or wrong, but I still have a couple of bits to add on here so if its slightly longer than your daily dose of bloggery from elsewhere I am sorry but bare with us. Alternatively if you have got to hear but think wow I'm about done with reading this now, its going no where and the whole thing has been badly written, or again if your Izzie Gay* and just want to get in Dave Faults pants e-mail us at info@thefaults.co.uk.

Anyone reading this use Twitter? Then follow us! We do have a Twiter account and although it didn’t get updated much it will start to be now. So again you can see what its like to deal with practically the same issues you have everyday plus a slight mention of an instrument here or there or maybe a mention of a practice/gig.

We were invited to enter another 'International' competition this week and after the fix that was the breakout festival that can well and truly shove that invite firmly up their arse. One other quick mention to the guy who got back to Toms Gum Tree advert asking for a manager with some life changing advice about getting signed. Yes we have the unsigned guide but thanks for that bombshell you daft fuck and thanks for letting us know that you are friends with the owner of Wild Plumb and can get us some gigs with them. While I'm sure for some very rookie bands this might sound like a great idea the idea of working with that Fat Ethiopian, Money grabbing, 'I'll send the boys round', shit talking prick, makes me want to give up music (maybe not but I'm trying to be dramatic and for those of you were hoping that was true I can hear you Mum calling you back to bed!)

Anyway fans you have had enough of my rubbish for one day, if you like the idea drop us a line at

info@thefaults.co.uk and don't forget to check out our webpage www.thefaults.co.uk and also follow us on Twitter http://twitter.com/thefaults both will be getting abit of an overhaul in the next few weeks so look out for that.

Until next time Fault Fans,

Captain B-rad.